Big Fat Friday Funny

Image Source: http://www.cnlr.co.uk

This week we are expanding our waitlines to have a funny look at a big problem we currently have here in the Western world: our size!

Don't laugh but Big Passy was very bigger two years ago, weighing in at an obese 125kg. Thankfully I am now a much healthier 90kg, but it wasn't easy getting rid of that extra mass.

Let's begin with a silly joke:

Q. What do you call two fat men having a chat?
A. A heavy discussion.

Joke Source: http://www.basicjokes.com

A lot of times people blame Mc Donald's food for weight problems. But Big Passy enjoys eating Maccas at least once a week, and it is fine as long as you do some exercise to compensate for the high calorie intake.

I don't think these guys have been balancing out the fast food equation.


Image Source: http://blogs.seattleweekly.com

Here is a basic diagram of how that whole overweight equation works:

Too much big calories in = Too much growth in all the wrong places


Image Source: http://a1.phobos.apple.com


"F is for Fat" Jokes

Freddy is so fat, he shows up on radar.

Frank is so fat that NASA orbits satellites around him.

Faye has so many double chins she looks like she is staring at you over a pile of pancakes.

Ferdinand is so fat, they used his belt to measure the Earth's equator.

Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other, "Your round."
The other one says "So are you! You big fat pig!"

Fatima was so fat that they baptized her at Sea World.

Francessca is so fat, she had her baby pictures taken by satellite.

Fillipo is so fat, when he steps on the scale it says, "No live stock please."

Frederica is so fat, she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.

Felicia is so fat, when she stepped on a scale it said 1 person at a time please.

Frederico's butt is so big, he got stopped at the airport for having 200 pounds of crack!

Ferica is so fat, even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Fawn is so fat she took her pants to the dry cleaners and the lady said, "we don't do curtains".

Jokes Source: http://www.carlmerritt.com

Most of the videos we checked out on YouTube for this post were very unkind and unsuitable. However, the following video shows how when you are overweight, your center of gravity shifts, and it is much easier to fall over.

This certainly happened to Big Passy a few times during his previous "Big Boy" life.

I guess this video is more a warning than something funny to laugh at.



Fat Theology

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetable of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"

And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth chocolate. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth ice cream. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.

And Man gained pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.

And Satan saw and said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God just sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Jokes Source: http://www.basicjokes.com

So that's it for our Fat Friday. Now it's time to drift off into another big weekend.


Image Source: http://blogs.nyu.edu

Enjoy yourselves, but make sure you do something active in the next two days!

(No Longer so Big) Passy Wasabi

Friday Funny on the Buses

Image Source: http://images2.travbuddy.com

Our school recently hired a giant bendy bus to fit all the kids on for a music excursion.


Image Source: http://www.stevemeisner.com

They also hired a great bus for the science class's field trip to the zoo:


Image Source: http://www.blog4logos.com

Recently Big Passy also got to go on an IT excursion on a big comfy tour bus and had himself a great time.

All that bussing around has inspired this week's Friday Funny all about travel on buses.

Time to climb aboard, get yourselves seated, and enjoy the ride!

Public transport is supposed to be a cheaper alternative. But it is not free, you do have to pay the driver.



Now kids, make sure you don't get on the wrong bus. The bottom seats take you to school in America. The top seats take you to Australia!


Image Source: http://www.schoolbusdriver.org

Smoking isn't allowed on buses, or is it?
Looks like this guy insn't the only one belching out foul smelling smoke.


Image Source: http://www.humorhound.com

Smoking isn't allowed on planes either. We've always found that flying on a plane is just like being on an overly glorified bus. Now we have direct proof from Google Images.

By Bus or by Plane, it's all the same?


Image Source: http://www.deshow.net

Bus Jokes Part 1.

Q. What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a skunk?
A. I don't know. But it could always get a seat on a bus!

Q. What did the bus conductor say to the frog?
A. Hop on

Q. Why did the bat miss the bus?
A. Because he hung around for too long.

Q. How do eels get around the seabed?
A. They go by octobus.

Q. Why did the bus stop?
A. Because it saw the zebra crossing.

Q. Q: What is a bus ?
A. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Q. Which end of a bus is it best to get off?
A. It doesn't matter. Both ends stop at the same place.

Q. What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head?
A. Dead.

Q. What "bus" crossed the ocean?
A. Columbus

Jokes Source: http://www.best-funny-jokes.com/bus-jokes

The wheels on the bus go round and round. But it looks like one of the most important wheels has fallen off this Chinese bus.


Image Source: http://www.snegidhi.com

And still in China, where buses have been flooded with passengers lately.


Image Source: http://funnyinchina.com

Seems there are a lot of problems with those Chinese buses.


Image Source: http://www.motifake.com

Don't you hate it when the bus drives straight past your getting off stop, Here is a helpful video of a guy who has those sort of problems getting off a bus.



Have you heard about the new bus company offering door to door service? (Even if you live on the second floor of your apartment building!)


Image Source: http://www.all4humor.com

Bus Jokes Part 2.

Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today?
No. Is there a strike?
No, they're stopping to let the passengers off.


A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the man's supper and began whining and jumping up at him. "Do you mind if I throw him a bit?" said the man to the lady. "Not at all," she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.


'Is everyone in the bus?' asked the driver before he closed the door. 'No,' called a young lady, 'wait until I get my clothes on.' All the passengers in the bus turned towards the door to look at the woman. She got on with a bag full of laundry.

Jokes Source: http://www.best-funny-jokes.com/bus-jokes

Buses can get a bit crowded during peak times. But after seeing the picture below, we don't want to hear want anyone complaining next time they find themselves on a crowded bus!


Image Source: http://www.funtim.com

Has your daily bus commute been lacking entertainment. Well this could be the answer to your boredom.



We guess that everyone will do the tour bus thing at least once in their lives.

The best thing about Dutch bus tour companies is that they really deliver. You go on a tour of the canals, you get to see the canals!


Image Source: http://failblog.files.wordpress.com

We hope you enjoyed our little tour of bussing you around, and let's hope you enjoy your weekend even more.

Big Passy Wasabi

Medievil Madness at Timeline Fair

Sometimes it is just great to just get away from technology for a while. And during this break time, why not have a peek back into the olden days. Here at Passy World that is exactly what we did last weekend at the Renaissance Timeline Fair in Berwick Australia.

Here is a link to their website: http://www.timelinefair.org.au/

The Archery and Jousting demonstrations were definitely our favorite part of the day. My friend Athena and I both took lots of photos, and Athena's photos of the jousting were particularly good.

The following Wondershare slideshow contains a selection of our photos.

(Note that it is quite a big slideshow and may take a while to load in).



If you would like to see the above slideshow full size, then click on this link: http://www.passyworld.com/passyHTMLs/MedievilShow.html

Ipad users need to click the following link to watch the slideshow:

http://www.passyworld.com/passyMP4s/MedievilFair545x405.mp4


If you want to know more about how to make Wondershare slideshows using their great Flash application, then click the link below:
http://www.wondershare.com/ and then under Products and Digital Photo Tools locate "Flash Gallery Factory Deluxe". (We have been using this particular product for a while here at Passy World and highly recommend it).

Finally here is some great video footage by Edward Pearse of the Jousting and Armored combat from the Renaissance Timeline Fair.



Well that's enough horsing around from us for a while.

Enjoy,
Big Passy Wasabi

Cross Friday Funny

Image Source: http://www.pxleyes.com

The theme for this week's Friday Funny is anything to do with the word "cross" and it's derivitaves. For example, what you get when you cross a Lion with a Zebra.

Here is a fine selection of crossing with each other jokes.

What Do You Get If You Cross.......

What do you get if you cross a sheep and a space ship ?
Apollo neck woolly jumpers !

What do you get if you cross a pig with a naked person ?
Streaky bacon !

What do you get if you cross a box of matches and a giant ?
The big match !

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a skyscraper ?
A high jumper!

What do you get if you cross a road with a safari park ?
Double yellow lions !

What do you get if you cross an artist with a policeman ?
A brush with the law !

What do you get if you cross an overweight golfer and a pair of very tight trousers ?
A hole in one !

What do you get if you cross a plumber with a field of cow pats ?
The poohed piper !

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a bottle of whisky ?
Trunk and disorderly !

What do you get if you cross a flock of sheep and a radiator ?
Central bleating !

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a pair of tennis rackets ?
Ping pong !

What do you get if you cross a bear with a freezer ?
A teddy brrrrr !

What do you get if you cross a computer with a vampire ?
Something new fangled !

What do you get if you cross a tin opener, a vampire and a cricket team ?
An opening bat !

What do you get if you cross a cow with a grass cutter ?
A lawn mooer !

What do you get if you cross a pair of dogs with a hairdresser ?
A shampoodle and setter !

What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a dog ?
Tyrannnosaurus Rex!

What do you get if you cross a football team with a bunch of crazy jokers ?
Mad jester United !

What do you get if you cross a large computer and a beefburger ?
A big mac !

What do you get if you cross an overheating large computer with a beerburger ?
A big mac and fries !

What do you get if you cross a hat factory and a field of cows ?
A pat on the head !

What do you get if you cross a detective with a cat ?
A peeping Tom !

What do you get if you cross a pig and a part in a film ?
A ham roll !

What do you get if you cross a toadstool and a full suitcase ?
Not mushroom for your holiday clothes !

What do you get if you cross a computer with a potatoe ?
Micro chips !

What do you get if you cross a cow with a crystal ball ?
A message from the udder side !

What do you get if you cross a chicken and an electricity socket ?
A battery hen !

And of course, what do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Motor Cycle:


Image Source: http://andyw-inuk.smugmug.com

Or maybe this is a better punchline picture for a zebra-motorbike joke:


Image Source: http://scienceblogs.com

And I guess you've all heard the one about why the Zebra crossed the road?

- To see some white stripes.

The Zebra would certainly have been sure to cross the road at a Zebra Crossing.


Image Source: http://www.wilsonsalmanac.com

Here is Part 1 of our personal "Cross the Road" favorites.

Cross the Road Jokes - Part 1

Why did the one-handed gorilla cross the road?
To get to the secondhand shop.

Why did the frogs cross the road?
To get a croak-a-cola.

Why did the rabbit cross the road?
To get to the hopping mall.

Why did the wasp cross the road?
It needed to go to the waspital.

Why did the hen go halfway across the road and stop?
She wanted to lay it on the line.

Why did the sheep cross the road?
He needed to go to the baa baa shop.

Why did the otter cross the road?
To get to the otter side.

Where do animals go when they lose their tails?
They go across the road to the retail shop.

Why did the chicken cross the muddy road and not come back?
Because he didn't want to be a dirty double-crosser.

Why did the sick rabbits cross the road?
They needed to the hopital.

Why do skunks argue when crossing the road?
Cause they like to raise a stink.

Did you hear the story about the peacock who crossed the road?
It is really a colorful tail.....

Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.

Time for a Visual: Why did the Sheep cross the Road?



We are sure you want more, and here they are!


Cross the Road Jokes - Part 2

Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side!

Why did the nose cross the road?
Because it kept getting picked on!!

Why did the duck cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken!

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road???
Because it had no guts!!

Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
She wanted to stretch her legs!

Why did the redneck cross the road?
He wanted to sleep in the ditch on the other side.

Why did the cows cross the road?
To go to the moooooo-vies!

Why did the rooster cross the road?
To cockadoodle dooo something.

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
He heard the referee calling fowls.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the possum it could actually be done!

Why did the chicken lawyer cross the road?
To get to the car accident on the other side.

Why did chicken Jim Morrison cross the road?
To break on through to the other side.

Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.

Why did the horse cross the road?
To reach its Nay-borhood.

Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot

Why did the chicken stop crossing the road?
It got tired of everyone making so many jokes!

Jokes Source: http://www.boyscouttrail.com

Now if you are a bit cross about not having a normal full of videos Friday Funny this week, then let's hope you are not as cross as this young man. (He is a definite worry!)



Hmmm... think I might ease up a bit on the computer war games this weekend.

Enjoy,
Big Passy Wasabi

Tommy Cooper Friday Funny

Image Source: http://www.art247.com

Tommy Cooper was a British comedian with a darn good sense of humor. This week we salute the work of this marvelous man.

Tommy started off his performing life as a Magician. However he quickly found that if he messed up the magic tricks, then people would laugh and enjoy his act more than if the tricks went okay. He thus set about becoming the "idiot magician". His shows were always exciting and unpreditable, and this built him up an immense following, and made him very famous.

Here is an amazing video of his famous "Bottle and the Glass" trick.



Now for another video that shows the typical magician comedian at work.



Tommy also did stand up comedy. Here is a collection of some of his best one liners.

1. Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...'

3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'

4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said,
'No, the steaks are too high.'

6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

7 . A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!'
The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'.

8. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.

9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'

12. 'Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. '
'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'

13. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?'
'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, ‘I’m going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?'
'No, because he's really heavy'

14. Guy goes into the doctor’s. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my bottom.'
'How's that?'
'Don't you start.'

15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

17.. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?'
I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it..'

18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it’s Colin.

19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other ‘Your round.' The other one says 'So are you, you fat bastard!'

20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

21. ‘You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'

22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'
The doctor said, ‘Well don't go there anymore’

23.. Ireland ’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Source: An email a friend sent me.

Here are two crazy Tommy Cooper sketches in the one video, involving hats.



And one more video showcasing Tommy's bent talents, where he plays two characters at the same time in a story telling session.



Tommy Cooper died on stage performing live for British TV in 1984.

There is a society for him at this web address:
http://www.thetommycoopersociety.org/

To finish off this post, here is a great video about his life and death.



Hope you have a great weekend full of fun and magic.

Enjoy,
Big Passy wasabi

Friday Funny at the Cricket

Image Source: http://www.gulliverstravel.co.uk

Here at Passy World we are not really cricket fans at all. We certainly won't be spending our time in front of the TV watching the games. We would much rather be at the beach than at the cricket during our upcoming hot Australian summer.

In fact Cricket can get so boring, that even the players sometimes nod off and need to wake each other up.


Image Source: http://menscrunch.com

Looks like the whole team is desperately needing a quiet nap at this match.


Image Source: http://cache.daylife.com

This match might be so boring that the person sitting behind this inconsiderate lady may not be missing that much at all.


Image Source: http://1.bp.blogspot.com

What the game of cricket definitely needs is some exciting entertainment.
We are sure that random on-field guests could wake any sleeping viewer during particularly long and boring test matches.


Image Source: http://4.bp.blogspot.com

Let's take a look at this compilation of great funny moments in cricket.



Cricket Jokes

A friend asked George, "Tell me, is your daughter's fiancée a good catch?"
- "Good catch?" answered George. "Dammit, he's the best fielder we've got in the side!"

The cricketer was proud of his progress as a batsman and invited his mother-in-law along to watch him play, hoping to impress her.
At the crease, he turned to the wicket-keeper and said 'I'm anxious to do well and really hit this ball. That's my wife's mother over there.'
'Don't be silly,' said the wicket-keeper. 'You'll never hit her from this far away.

George spent every Sunday playing cricket. It finally got too much for his wife , who exploded, 'Cricket! All you ever think about is cricket! I think I'd drop dead if you stayed home on Sunday!'
'Now then, dear,' said George. 'It's no use trying to bribe me.'

An expectant father rang the hospital to see how his wife was getting on. By mistake he dialed the number for Lord's.
"How's it going?" he asked.
"Fine," came the answer, "We've got two out already and hope to have the rest out before lunch. The last one was a duck.

Two onlookers were talking during the village cricket match.
'The batsman was late for the first delivery,' observed one.
'He always is,' said the other. 'That's our milkman.'

Not sure why all the guys need to be standing so close to each other in the field set up below. Maybe they are sharing a single brain between them?


Image Source: http://www.cricbolly.com

Lack of intelligence is a common problem during cricket matches. Here a veteran umpire is trying to explain what the round red thingy is used for.


Image Source: http://static.guim.co.uk

This guy looks like he should be playing in a Jimi Hendrix tribute band, rather than spending a whole day on the grass.


Image Source: http://www.smh.com.au

Perhaps the game needs smartening up using modern technology like this.


Image Source: http://1.bp.blogspot.com

And some of the stupidity in cricket extends far beyond the players.

Here is a video made by the cricket commentators. These guys aren't exactly the sharpest knives in the draw at the best of times.



Lucky there are always plenty of officials on hand at international matches to keep things on track.


Image Source: http://farm4.static.flickr.com

The officials are certainly very thorough in their inspections of all participants.


Image Source: http://2.bp.blogspot.com

That's it for another week for us. Have a great weekend and watch out for those swinging spin bowlers.

Enjoy,
Big Passy Wasabi

Kid's favorite Cool Gizmos

This great world has so many things which keep attracting numerous consumers. Firms Introduce numerous innovative gadgets in the market which help people in performing Day to day activity. Gadget shop is considered to be the best place to get such gadgets.

One of the leading gizmos is mobile phone and it has captured the whole market. Some more electronic devices which have captivated the consumers are music player, laptop, Video games, LCD, camera and more. In fact people use such devices so as to complete particular task. Gadgets are meant for giving comforts while doing any particular task.

They really make the work easy and simple. According to the online gadgets store, gizmos are divided into 2 parts. Firstly those gadgets which are used for performing particular task by the consumers. Secondly devices which have been introduced to offer enjoyment or entertainment medium to the users.

These cool gizmos getting really popular through out the world as people love to use them. Cool devices like mobile phones are not only the gadgets which fulfill communication purpose of the user but they have become a status symbol for them.

Technology is growing day by day; consumers can easily get latest gizmos by checking it online. They can easily buy them through internet. If you want to have complete information about the gizmos like their features, price, quality, competitors, materials and functions then internet is the best source. These gadgets are really helpful in life and give great comfort to the users.